Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Parking markers

This past week, DC was dumped on. By a lot of snow. A lot. I haven't been to work since last Friday around midday (three work and a half work days off). The federal government has been closed since last week. And, I have already broken one shovel (shoveling my roof to make sure the weight doesn't collapse the roof). Due to the record snow, it has taken significant efforts to dig out one's cars. In Boston, it is common for people to leave markers to reserve these spots. While it is not legal to do in Chicago or DC, I hear recently in Boston the mayor started to allow it for a day or two. I walked around my neighborhood and saw some of these examples here in DC. Here are a few of such examples.

First, here is my home. I dug a medium-sized car out from in front of my property. In fact, I have seen vans park in this spot. Notice the clean, wide spot. Notice the lack of a marker. This is public property and it would be wrong for me to mark it mine if there were no snow, so I have no ownership over it, in my opinion, in any circumstance. Other people feel differently.

The first example is called "Lone Chair." Say it like Dark Helmet in Space Balls for full effect. It is what is says it is; just a lone chair guarding a spot.

Our second example is the trendy "Stick on a Patio Chair." The patio chair clearly will not be needed for many months, so why not put it to good use? I'm not sure the purpose of the stick other than to assist the chair. This is the equivalent of placing a jacket on the seat near you in a theater.

This one is a personal favorite. I call it "The Nutcracker Valet." As you can see a sign is posted and the nutcracker's job apparently is to stand there and guard the spot. I wonder what the lawn chair is for; is it for the Nutcracker to sit down during breaks? Also, what do you tip such a valet?

Here is an odd one known simply as "Up Periscope." I almost wish it were a flag stuck in the snow as that would be funnier.

"Sign on a Pole" reminds me of the college roommate who leaves notes around the dorm reminding you to take your clothes out of the laundry or that it is your turn to clean the dishes. It is classic passive-aggressive.

What do you get when you have two chairs facing each other? It's "The Great Debate!" Today's topic: can this space be claimed?

What do you do when you have two spots to reserve? You form a "Chair-Chain," of course!

And lastly, my favorite, "The Crime Scene." This is the only one I take seriously. If someone has this much time and owns yellow tape, maybe you should just let this one be.

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